I Am The 1 In 4 Who Has Miscarriaged
• Guest Post by Larissa McBride •
There I was, standing on the train station waiting desperately for my husband to meet me. The worst day of my life. I just needed his hug. He was my rock. I needed him in that moment so badly. We sat on the train together and held hands. His love got me through every day.
I am 1 in 4 woman who has experienced miscarriage. My husband and I have suffered the traumatic pain of 2 miscarriages.
103,000 pregnancies in Australia each year result in miscarriage, while approximately 3,000 babies are either born stillborn or die in the first 28 days after birth.
To all the women who have suffered; I am so sorry for your loss. Your loss will stay with you forever. It is a cruel loss that no woman should ever have to experience.
My husband and I had been trying to conceive for 2 &½ years and completed many rounds of IVF when we received our first positive pregnancy result. I had been in absolute ecstasy for weeks. Our ultrasound revealed the baby had stopped growing. A precious little baby I already felt so utterly connected to, gone. My dream of mothering my baby ripped away from me.
I blamed myself. I lay awake uncontrollably sobbing at night searching my mind for answers. What was wrong with me? What did I do for this to happen?
I don’t know why I’ll never hear my baby’s heart beat, feel the tiny kicks, or swell with growing life inside of me. I don’t know why my baby was not meant to become my child.
I had already imagined our life together. I had experienced the joys of pregnancy. I was filled with so much love and exciting anticipation. I had experienced something bigger than myself. My heart exploded with a sense of purpose and protection for something so special.
I do not know why our destinies were never meant to intertwine.
Another miscarriage after 3 years trying to conceive left me broken.
When I finally fell pregnant 6 months later I spread the news. I strongly believed that if I lost another baby I needed my family and friends’ love and support. I didn’t want to feel alone. I didn’t want to feel shame.
Why do women suffer in silence? Women need their sisters to lift their spirits, provide tender care and courage. To hug, wipe away tears and say that it is completely devastating and not fair.
October is pregnancy and infant loss awareness month. The 15th of October is Remembrance Day. Parents and families will honour their babies traumatically lost from miscarriage, stillbirth or newborn death by lighting a candle from 7pm to 8pm. It is a much-needed opportunity to acknowledge these precious babies that were not given the chance to live.
My hope is that awareness this month will allow women to speak openly and honour their loss. To know they are not alone. To know that help is available. To never give up on their dream of holding their baby in their arms.
Sands is a national support service for miscarriage, stillborn and newborn death. Call anytime on 1300 072 637 and visit their website sands.org.au. Sands has a range of support services for women and men including telephone, online, email and local groups.
Larissa provides advice & support, and massage therapy specialising in women’s health, fertility, pregnancy and kids’s health. Larissa is a degree qualified and registered naturopath, clinical nutritionist, herbalist and pregnancy massage therapist.
She is also a very proud mumma and wife, adventure seeker and health nut. Larissa was born, raised, and now resides and works in the Sutherland Shire with her husband and baby girl. Larissa believes that all women on their fertility, pregnancy and motherhood journey need to be made to feel like they are the most important person in the world.