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I Am The 1 In 4 Who Has Miscarriaged

• Guest Post by Larissa McBride •

There I was, standing on the train station waiting desperately for my husband to meet me. The worst day of my life. I just needed his hug. He was my rock. I needed him in that moment so badly. We sat on the train together and held hands. His love got me through every day.

I am 1 in 4 woman who has experienced miscarriage. My husband and I have suffered the traumatic pain of 2 miscarriages.

103,000 pregnancies in Australia each year result in miscarriage, while approximately 3,000 babies are either born stillborn or die in the first 28 days after birth.

To all the women who have suffered; I am so sorry for your loss. Your loss will stay with you forever. It is a cruel loss that no woman should ever have to experience.

My husband and I had been trying to conceive for 2 &½ years and completed many rounds of IVF when we received our first positive pregnancy result. I had been in absolute ecstasy for weeks. Our ultrasound revealed the baby had stopped growing. A precious little baby I already felt so utterly connected to, gone. My dream of mothering my baby ripped away from me.

I blamed myself. I lay awake uncontrollably sobbing at night searching my mind for answers. What was wrong with me? What did I do for this to happen?

I don’t know why I’ll never hear my baby’s heart beat, feel the tiny kicks, or swell with growing life inside of me. I don’t know why my baby was not meant to become my child.

I had already imagined our life together. I had experienced the joys of pregnancy. I was filled with so much love and exciting anticipation. I had experienced something bigger than myself. My heart exploded with a sense of purpose and protection for something so special.

I do not know why our destinies were never meant to intertwine.

Another miscarriage after 3 years trying to conceive left me broken.

When I finally fell pregnant 6 months later I spread the news. I strongly believed that if I lost another baby I needed my family and friends’ love and support. I didn’t want to feel alone. I didn’t want to feel shame.

Why do women suffer in silence? Women need their sisters to lift their spirits, provide tender care and courage. To hug, wipe away tears and say that it is completely devastating and not fair.

October is pregnancy and infant loss awareness month. The 15th of October is Remembrance Day. Parents and families will honour their babies traumatically lost from miscarriage, stillbirth or newborn death by lighting a candle from 7pm to 8pm. It is a much-needed opportunity to acknowledge these precious babies that were not given the chance to live.

My hope is that awareness this month will allow women to speak openly and honour their loss. To know they are not alone. To know that help is available. To never give up on their dream of holding their baby in their arms.

Sands is a national support service for miscarriage, stillborn and newborn death. Call anytime on 1300 072 637 and visit their website sands.org.au. Sands has a range of support services for women and men including telephone, online, email and local groups.


Larissa McBride

larissamcbride.com.au

 Larissa McBrideLarissa provides advice & support, and massage therapy specialising in women’s health, fertility, pregnancy and kids’s health. Larissa is a degree qualified and registered naturopath, clinical nutritionist, herbalist and pregnancy massage therapist.

She is also a very proud mumma and wife, adventure seeker and health nut. Larissa was born, raised, and now resides and works in the Sutherland Shire with her husband and baby girl. Larissa believes that all women on their fertility, pregnancy and motherhood journey need to be made to feel like they are the most important person in the world.

 

 

7 Comments
  • Alex
    Posted at 21:04h, 12 October

    👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 thank you so much for sharing your story. I too have suffered the loss of a pregnancy and cried myself to sleep for months, alone. Open conversations and sharing stories like you’ve done here will hopefully help someone going through loss feel some kind of comfort knowing they are not alone ♥️

  • Mia Johnson
    Mia Johnson
    Posted at 21:26h, 12 October

    Thank you for commenting with your kind words Alex. I’m so sorry for your loss and suffering x

  • Olivia Peach
    Posted at 23:31h, 12 October

    It is more common than people think but when you’re the 1 and not the 3 of 4 it hits home hard. I’ve experienced this and mummy husband was overseas for work at the time. Sometimes I still don’t think I’m “over” it as such and that’s with three healthy babies. I’ve accepted it but not over the traumatic experience of being alone at the time. I wish you a wonderfully bright future ahead to make up for this journey of yours x

  • Matt McBride
    Posted at 10:48h, 13 October

    I am so proud of you Larissa for opening up and telling our story in the hope of helping others who may be suffering in a similar scenario.

    The difficult challenges faced by couples in life can either force them apart or bring them closer.

    With each bump along the road, my love and respect for you grows stronger.

    Love your Husband

  • Mia Johnson
    Mia Johnson
    Posted at 10:53h, 13 October

    Thank you for your kind words, Olivia. I’m so sorry for your loss, my love. Lots of love to you xxx

  • Mia Johnson
    Mia Johnson
    Posted at 10:54h, 13 October

    Oh, Matt. If Larissa’s article didn’t make me cry enough..
    You’re an amazing couple. Lots of love to you both xx

  • Anonymous
    Posted at 19:53h, 17 October

    Gorgeous Larissa you ought to be so proud of your achievements in helping others in your practice and with this beautiful heart felt post. Lots of love, Megan x

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