Bad Moms Shopping

Saturday Night at Kmart with Booze and Besties

Kmart, Booze and Besties

It’s Saturday night. The mood is right. I’m feeling frisky. The kids are asleep. Hubby is stuffing around on his phone and watching yet another documentary. I’ve been working all week 24-7 between the kids and work. I can feel it in my bones. This is my time. Time to break free. Time to leave the kids and ESCAPE.

I pick up my phone, open text message and proceed to type….

“Wanna go through a drive through and then hit Kmart Sylvania?”

Bing “Hell yes I’m about to kill someone”

Bing “I’ve been having Kmart withdrawals all week count me in”

Bing “There is absolutely nothing I need – count me in”

Cue the music. Eye of the tiger baby. This Saturday night is now going to be a bloody night to remember!

You get picked up (damn I love it that I still have friends that are breastfeeding and can’t drink more than one so I have a designated driver) and you and your crew rock up to that glowing arch in Southgate Sylvania.

Crack your drinks while others mums throw you filthy looks. Not at the fact you are drinking at Kmart but at the fact they are jealous they didn’t think about bringing booze.

Where do we start? With things for us of course! Screw the kids. So, we head to the ladies clothes, but on the way there we have to get a couple of bubble sticks (75 cents for a couple of hours of quiet – it’s a must have). Next thing you know there is a sale rack out – kids clothes – yeee haaa. As you pass by the kids shoes those elusive sought after Thomas sandals are back in!!! It’s like all your Christmases at once because you won’t have a long fight to get shoes on if they are Thomas. Next you remember it, ahhhhh shit, I forgot it’s my kid’s birthday this week (how could I forget considering that horrific birth) so you’re off to the toy section.

You quickly consult the Kmart Hacks Facebook page and buy all the key items to make a fairy globe. Deep in your heart you know it’s a waste of money ‘cos you’ll never get around to making it but for a few seconds you feel like one of those awesome, crafty, top mums.

Two drinks in, you and your girls are pretty pissy pants. With a trolley full of crap you don’t need, you look at each other and say ‘god I feel good – best Saturday night ever.’

You get home, crash out, get woken at 2am and wonder why you went out.

And then next weekend you do it all again!

Ladies – tag a friend you wanna hit Kmart Sylvania with very soon.

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