I Will Never Be “That” Mum, and That’s OK
• Post by guest contributor and local mum, Cath •
You know the mum.
The one who shows up to the gym with their perfect hair and colour coordinated outfit.
They have an organic eco-friendly meal plan stuck to the fridge. A master chef in the making, ensuring their kids have the perfect balance of macros each week.
She hand sews the kids costumes for book week and bakes brownies from scratch for the school cake stall.
The one that looks like she was just born to be a mother. I admire that mum. I might even be a tad jealous of that mum.
But I know, I will never be that mum.
And I am ok with that.
If you are that mum, I take my hat off to you. The hat that is there to hide my unwashed mangled pony tail.
As much as I would like to be the perfect mum. I am just not cut out for it. Here’s why.
There is not a single crafty bone in my body
I work in marketing so you would think I would be quite creative. And I am. But more in a writing and graphic design sense.
Crafty pursuits are not my forte. I am happy to oversee a project and tell you how I want it to look. But busting out the scissors and glue stick, no thanks.
So much so, that this years Easter Hat parade bonnets were left in the very capable hands of my husband.
I think he did a pretty decent job. Don’t you?
I forget stuff all the time
It was pyjama week at child care recently. My daughters arrived in their normal clothes whilst everyone else was looking great in their PJs.
The struggle is real sorting through the laundry pile to find pyjamas for them to wear to bed. Let alone having them ready and looking decent enough to wear out in public.
I know I need to get my act together on this one. If it gets to the school years and I accidently send them wearing their uniform on a mufti day, I don’t this I will be forgiven so easily.
I hate to cook
If it was not for my husband who used to be a chef, our family would be living on toast and takeaway.
I did make an effort after my first was born. The novelty was there to teach her to eat solids. So I would spend hours cutting up fresh fruits and vegetables. Steaming them, blending them and portioning them into little containers. And then most of it would end up either in the bin or all over her.
By the time our second little girl came along I was all about baby led weaning. Or as I like to call it, giving her what we are eating because I can’t be bothered doing more.
I did try cooking up one batch of food and brought a few of the pre-packaged meals. But she wasn’t that keen on either of them.
So the give her what we are eating approach worked just fine.
I don’t keep my kids artwork
When my now three year old used to bring home drawings in her child care bag, I would stick the masterpiece on the fridge.
Soon enough she was bringing home a picture almost every day, which ended up getting stuffed in a drawer. When the drawer gets too full I just end up throwing them out.
One time she saw a pile of them in our recycling container in the kitchen and asked me why they were in the bin. I felt a tinge of guilt. Would she hate me for throwing out her memories?
So I put them back in the drawer.
Then threw them out when she was not around. She hasn’t asked for them since.
The child care my girls go to give us a bound book at the end of the each year with their work in it. I keep that, which makes me feel a little bit better.
Birthday parties will always be outsourced
I am never going to win an award for have the most Pinterest worthy party in the neighbourhood.
I did manage to pull off a Paw Patrol themed party for our 3 year old this year. But I hired a room at an indoor play centre and just grabbed a few Paw Patrol balloons and paper plates to finish off “the look”.
I outsourced the cupcakes to someone else. I had tried the previous year to make cupcakes to take to child care, and I think I went through 3 packets just to end up with enough for the class.
Outfits don’t match perfectly
My kids clothes are rarely perfectly coordinated. I try to get a shirt that doesn’t clash with pants, but that is about the extent of it.
Joggers or sandals make up their footwear choices.
Simply finding a matching pair of socks is often an achievement in itself.
Maybe as my girls get older they will want to accessorise and experiment with different looks. But while I can get away with it, pants or a skirt and a t-shirt are the staples of their wardrobe. .
A mountain of washing
It is 3am. Work the next day and your toddler has been sick three times already that night. Each time you diligently change the sheets and her pyjamas.
By the time she is sick again, a quick clean up followed by throwing a towel on top becomes a perfectly acceptable option.
I’m not the perfect mum, and that’s ok
Sometimes I feel sorry for my kids that I will never be the perfect mum. I simply get through each day doing the best I can.
But then I realise a trip to the park and a treat of a banana bread on the way home, is enough each weekend for them to think I am pretty awesome..
Whenever they are sick, only mummy’s hugs will do. When they are hurt, they just want mummy to be there and tell them it will be alright.
So perhaps I should spend less time feeling guilty and comparing my inadequacies, and more time just enjoying the chaos that is motherhood.
Cath is a shire local all her life who now called Como home with her husband and two daughters, aged three and one.