• By guest blogger Miriam Hill •
Let’s face it – some weeks are just plain full on. We all know what it’s like. And this week has been one of those weeks. I feel like I’ve become Jekyll and Hyde – all smiles and happy days one minute and then the biggest cranky pants (and that’s saying it nicely) the next. And I’m sad to say it’s the kids and hubby who have taken the brunt of it.
Yep some say it’s that time of the month (BTW it’s not and I hate that people dismiss how I am feeling just because of my hormones!) and some say it’s the full moon, but to be truthful I think it’s just that I’ve not been telling people how I am REALLY feeling and nor have I been asking for a hand.
So when I have had a few moments to myself – in the car after drop offs, at work next to the kettle and hanging out the washing… when I could be still for a minute and just breathe a little… it’s has been pretty clear that my game face is getting me nowhere.
Yep it’s required a little digging deep but feeling so overwhelmed is just crap. I just needed to let it go and put it out there – to state my truth – “I’m feeling overwhelmed, I’m getting teary for no apparent reason, I need a bit of help.” So none of this “How are you? I’m fine” business. This week I’ve actually had to say “Not so great” and suck up the tears, or not, as the case has been!
I can’t deny that I’ve felt a bit vulnerable in stating my truth. I’ve been a little unsure of how people would react. But what I found was that I was heard by the people I love being around and those who didn’t hear me didn’t listen anyway.
So the process has been quite cathartic and the feeling of relief has been a god send in itself. Looking back I think holding it all in, with all the business of being busy, has had a bigger impact on my ability to just get on with it than I realised.
And you know what, it’s been ok since then. I’ve had the same stuff to do with the kids, house, work, school, family and friends and all of that but there has been lots of give from those around me. My hubby (who often goes away each week) just called a bit more, my friend (who sees me at school drop off) just gave me a bit more time and a big hug then backed it up with a text to say it’s going to be ok, my mum came and helped out one afternoon so I didn’t have to drag the kids around to all the activities (we all know the whinging involved in that). I was able to go to an extra training session thanks to the trainer fitting me in (that helped blow off some steam too), and a group of friends moved a catch up around so that I could still join in giving me time to get the other things done.
I think many of us mums have so much going on in our heads that we just don’t think about stating how we are feeling REALLY. Nor do we have the brain space to think about even asking for help. We only have the capacity to keep on going. It seems though, after this experience, that the more I’ve shared the more I’ve realised we are all in the same boat, feeling the same things, battling the same wars in our heads.
To be perfectly honest I think we all like to feel needed and wanted. So when we are asked to be a helper we feel a bit special to be asked, at the same time the helpee feels needed and wanted too because they have been heard – and so the world is a better place! I must admit my people did listen and were thoughtful and did what they could – and I am ever so grateful.
So I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth – so help my sanity. I think I could be a better person, wife, mum, daughter, sister and friend for it!
Miriam is a long time local who is a mum of four (two boys, two girls including twins). She works partime at a preschool running the business end. When she isn’t doing the kid thing, the home thing or the work thing you will find her sweating it out doing the keep fit thing or socialising with her mates – any chance for a coffee!
