February 15th is Singles Awareness Day. It’s a holiday that gets far less attention or fanfare than the day before it. Parenting is hard for everyone, but if you began it as a twosome then lose that support and unity, it becomes another journey entirely. 

While we can appreciate that some single mums have better relationships with their former partners than others, every situation comes with its own unique challenges. Below are some of the insights that our Mums of the Shire Community Facebook Group shared with us about what single mum-life is like for them.

What is life like as a single mum?

• It’s relentless. Single mums literally wear all the hats, all the time. Even when you are sick, you are responsible for everything.
• The mental load can be crippling.
• It’s lonely. It’s isolating. There’s no one to absorb your worries or thoughts or to share the joy that is a milestone big or small.
• It’s financially stressful. Budgeting, saving, forward planning.
• It’s not the same as being a stay at home or a mum whose partner works away.
• Single mums don’t receive as much support as most people think.
• It’s a nightmare trying to balance conflicting parenting styles when children bounce between the homes of two parents.
• It’s heartbreaking trying to explain to a child why their father doesn’t want to be involved in their life.
• Me-time doesn’t exist unless you share custody.
• Knowing when is the right time to step in to help or step back and let children deal with the other parent during conflict is a constant challenge.
• Single mums receive unwelcome pity and judgment from other mums. They’re not trying to steal your husband!
• Making plans is really hard because it involves finding a babysitter for every occasion. Sometimes people simply stop extending invitations.
• Trying to find the elusive balance of working full time in paid employment and being a sole parent 100% of the time feels impossible.

 

The best advice single mums of the Shire have received…

• Look after yourself because without you, who will love your children as you do?
• Go on date nights with your children to strengthen your connection.
• Never speak ill of the other parent (or their partner) in front of your children no matter how upset or angry you are.
• Never be embarrassed to ask for help when you need it.

 

We would like to thank all the mums who shared their experiences with us and hope that you are able to recognise the incredible jobs you are doing. Single, or otherwise, if you are struggling with the challenges of parenthood the Mums of the Shire Community Facebook Group is a supportive place you can turn to!