Sam the elf has had a fatal fall from grace, and the shelf, with his midnight mayhem meeting a tragic end.
Parents in the Sutherland Shire are in shock this morning after waking to find that the Elf on the Shelf toys they bought for their children got up to something a little too cheeky last night.
Sam, the elf, is known to get into mischief in the middle of the night like covering mirrors in shaving cream and pinching food from the fridge, but no one could have seen him leap to something as serious as this.
“I’m stunned,” said Woronora local Lindsay Andrews. “I was all prepped to set him up as the Manager of a Hot Wheels car-wash when I found him face down in a pile of white powder.”
“I had to make something up about him being back in quarantine after a false-negative COVID test result.”
“That will buy me two weeks, by which time Christmas will have passed and we can forget about him until December next year, at which time we’ll be replacing him with the simple ‘Santa camera’ that we should’ve bought to begin with,” Lindsay said.
Parents who purchased an “Elf on the shelf” did so under the misguided presumption that it would be worth more than the time and money they’d have to spend on it.
After endless nights on Pinterest, many mothers have remarked on the tiresome nature of having to out-do the previous night’s debauchery, but none of them banked on having to explain to their children that Santa’s sneaky elf had never woken up after snorting too much snow.
It’s suspected that some early weeknight partying set Sam on a bad path.
“I can’t help but wonder if the poker night he attended with the Sylvanian families on Tuesday was the beginning of a downward spiral,” Lindsay told The MOTS Mail.
“And then the sleepover with the Minions got a bit wild on Wednesday… I knew that Kevin was bad news.” Lindsay said.
The poorly-timed tragedy has been dubbed the “snowverdose” and will no doubt ultimately leave some children mystified at the elf’s disappearance while their parents secretly high-five.
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